Thai Smiley

คำทักทายจากเชียงใหม่! 

Photo credit to Veggieartgirl

ฉันรู้วิธีที่จะใช้ตัวแปลภาษาออนไลน์!

Chiang Mai is awesome.  Because I’m nothing more than a liberal hippie stereotype, this place was total heaven for me.  During my week here, I took a vegetarian Thai cooking class, went on a two-day Buddhist meditation retreat, spent two days at the famous Elephant Nature Park sanctuary (I can die now), got my first (and second and third) Thai massage (read here for warnings and disclaimers), shopped at the many street markets, and ate … and ate … and ate.  My abs are now covered in a nice layer of what happens when one eats too much coconut milk. 

Chiang Mai has more vegetarian restaurants per capita than any other place in the world.  So, naturally, I am considering moving there.  (Hot Monk- more about him in a minute- told me I could get a job teaching him and other monks at the monk university.  Monks are a lot like the Jedi; they need to know a little bit of everything to earn their noble place in society.)  As many times as I’ve wondered if my people can just get our own island, Chiang Mai is probably the closest we can get without tipping the others off to our vegetarian segregationist dreams.  (Minus, of course, anyone who is reading this who has just been tipped off to my vegetarian segregationist dreams…)  Compared to other vegetarian hot spots, Chiang Mai is less “L.A.” than L.A. and farther away from Texas than the land-island of Austin.  It’s rainier than Portland, but also has more Northface and Columbia jackets. 

I made 16 different recipes in the cooking class: 14 that were part of the cooking class and two extras for a confused Japanese family that thought I was the entertainment.  If anyone wants the recipes, let me know.  Taste testing included. 

In other culinary news, sushi and mango are cheap and abundant in Thailand.  Reasons #236 and #237 to go.

Mahachulalongkornrajvidalaya (no, really, I did not just fall asleep on the keyboard- y'all don't have spacebars in Thailand?!) Buddhist University runs a program called MonkChat, which invites non-Buddhists to drop in and ask questions about Buddhism and other monk-ey business.  My most pressing question about monkenometry revolves around whether monks have jammies, which, unfortunately, I did not have a chance to ask.

Technically, monks don’t have any possessions, but others in the society take care of them by providing them with things they need- food, shoes, rides, iphones… These men are already celibate and rely on the kindness of strangers to eat- don’t tell them they can’t have an iphone!  They can frequently be seen carrying around the items people have given them in monkpurses. 

Above: Hot Monk likes camping and motorbikes.  

Below: Hot monk, being hot AND Buddhist.

Both: Pictures lifted from facebook.  I'm officially creepy.

The university also runs an English meditation retreat in the mountains outside of Chiang Mai.  Hot Monk, who is Burmese and also hot, ran the retreat.  We were supposed to be silent the whole two days, but there were some yappity yappities in the group who were probably talking during the 14 times that Hot Monk said that the retreat was silent.  He facilitated our practice of walking, standing, sitting, and lying meditation.  I'm really good at lying meditation.  While meditation means lots of things to different people, the beginner brand of meditation Hot Monk wanted us to practice is the kind one uses to concentrate on clearing the mind of its thoughts.  For two days.  Uh oh.  Personal growth travel journey vehicle brakes screeeech.

Here’s a sample of what meditation sounds like in the head of a busy, East Coast person who probably has adult-onset ADHD and definitely likes naps:  “Okay.  Time to meditate.  Ready, go.  Hmm, lying meditation is way better than the other kinds.  Hey!  No more thoughts.  Just clear, like, no thoughts at all.  Like, not these thoughts.  Or does this count as concentration?  Am I concentrating on concentrating by thinking about concentration?  Am I meta-meditating?  Is that a thing?  That sounds special and fancy!  Is this enlightenment!?!!  Am I a Bodhisattva?!?  Probably not.  Good thing no one can hear all of this.  Okay, shhhhh.  Waterfalls…  Puppies….  I’m doing better!  Yay!  Shhhhh…  ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

A for effort?

Namaste, bitches!